Death....it's not a topic you probably see a lot of blogs written about.  It's probably not even a topic you think about much until you're faced with it.  Whether it's a family member, a friend, or even yourself....we tend to put of thinking about death until we have to.

But death should be something we think about well before we're forced to.  Certain topics make us take a step back, evaluate, and then move forward...possibly in a new direction.  I think death is one of those realities that can alter our perception and change our priorities.

One of my friends just had a family member pass away and it's a hard thing to deal with...especially when you're thousands of miles apart from where everything is taking place and where you can connect with loved ones.  A couple days ago we all sat together and listened as my friend told stories from the memories he shared with this family member.  Some of the stories were funny and some were sobering, but all of them pointed to the character in the person that he had loved. 

As we sat and were faced with the reality of a life ending, it made us look at our own families and our own lives.  I thought about the legacy I would leave.  About how people would remember me.  About the people that are close to me and not knowing when any of our lives will end. 

John 12:24...

"Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds."

The kingdom of God usually works backwards to the way everything else does.  When I hear about someone dying, I think of an end.  But in the kingdom...it's really the beginning.  When I hear of someone dying, I think of how life is over.  But in the kingdom...it's the start of something new.

In the midst of death there is hope and there is life....yes, life.  When Jesus went to the cross, He knew that His death would bring us life.  He knew that in order to bring freedom, He had to willing lay down His life. 

We can sit and think about what our legacy will be.  We can think about what people will say about us after we're gone.  We can try to live a better life and make it more meaningful.  But I'm reminded of the kernel of wheat and the lesson I think we need to learn from it.  It brought life and multiplied its impact by dying. 

So the question is...do you wait till your physical death to hope for an impact, or do you die to yourself today, tomorrow and the next day to bring life into places that need it?  The challenge isn't to live so your death will be remembered, but to live so your physical death won't be the first death you've experienced. 

I wanted to give a quick update with how things are going here in Kenya and where we are heading.  We've been here about three months and things started off slow, but now that we've layed a foundation, we are starting to see things take off.

First, and arguably most important, the water situation.  Camp Jekazi, another IDP camp about 2 kilometers from Camp Tumaini, now has a borehole that's almost 1000 feet deep with water around 140 degrees F. It's taken a long time but the now have a pump that can get this water to the surface.  Pipe has been installed from Jekazi to Tumaini and now we are trying to get some last minute things fixed and worked out so that Tumaini can get water in the take they have at their camp!

Second, we have started numerous conversations with members in the camps about micro-finance loans.  We are having conversations with individuals about their vision, what's realistic, and how we can support them in getting back up on their feet.  This is a hard process and we are trying to figure it out as we go.  We've already approved one and started a women going with a small duka (shop) where she sells fruits, vegetables, soap, tea and other items.  It's really taking off and she is making enough to expand the business and make a decent wage.

Third, we are still in conversation with Habitat for Humanity about getting homes built for camp members.  Things are looking good and we are hopeful that at the beginning of next year the process could be underway. There is a lot of paperwork and information that we are trying to gather to make this happen, so we have been meeting with government officials and other people to make this process move forward.

Fourth, the charcoal business is still getting underway.  We have built a small press and are experimenting with different ingredients for the best briquette.  We are having trouble getting cohesion, and are realizing we are going to need to build something to shred the materials.  If anyone has a way to build a man-powered shredder, chipper, mulcher....let me know...seriously!

Fifth, shortly after getting here we found out there was already a women's sewing school that was for IDP women.  Instead of trying to start another one, we have been helping out with the one that's already in place.  We are trying to see what partnering with them could look like and how we can further the visions we each have.

Well....there is a lot more going on of course...with all the , but that's a quick highlight of the main things we are seeing happen.  Hope this helps you understand what we're working on and how you can be praying for us.  If you have any questions....let me know!

Last week I shared about some of the consequences I've seen from short-term solutions to cycles of poverty.   I've seen it play out time and time again now that we are living in Kenya, and it's a frustrating thing. 

I look at the people in the camps we are here to help and serve, and there is huge gap between us...not just because we are from different countries, look a little different, or have access to different resources...those are a given.  The gap I'm seeing more and more is the one that's been created by people trying to help. 

I get frustrated with people in the camps because they lie, cheat, steal, and manipulate us.  I have so much trouble wrapping my mind around why they would do things like this.  I mean, we are here to help! The longer I live here and the more I get to truly know the people though, I am starting to understand this scenario more. 

I started to ask myself, "If I was in their place, what would I do? "  Here is what they know:  They have lived in utter poverty for years without any sign that things will get better.  Foreigners come to visit, usually bringing food or clothes, and then leave as quickly as they showed up.   They are then left alone till someone else comes and gives another handout.

If this is the cycle I have known in my life, I think I would react the same way.  I would say and do whatever I needed to so I could get to the front of the line, get the most stuff, and suck the foreigners dry before they packed it all up and headed back to their lives of abundance.

So what do you do?

We are trying to break down some of these perceptions and show that we aren't here to give handouts, we are here for more than a few days or weeks, and that we love them and aren't going to turn our backs on them.

It's easy to point a finger at short-term missions and say that it's the problem and we need to do away with it....but we know that's not the solution.  Short-term missions has it's place...heck, it's the reason I am here and a lot of others are serving overseas.  But we've twisted short-term missions into something it was never intended to be or do.  It's become more of a hobby, vacation, or something to put on a resume. 

Short-term missions isn't the answer to long term problems or cycles poverty.  It's an awakening tool for those who feel the call of God on their lives to go.  It's a chance to see the cost of a life devoted to God and loving others in a new location.  It's a stepping-stone to ask God if He would have you commit to a location, people, or certain ministry. 

I know this hits people in a lot of different places and I've made some gross generalizations...but it's the essence of what we're dealing with here. 

So I want to open it up...what are your thoughts? 

I was in shock by the scene I had just watched unfold.  I was saddened.  I was discouraged.  I was angry.   I saw a vast disconnect I had suspected in my mind, but when it played out in reality, it had the weight of the WORLD behind it.  The scene happened a few weeks ago and went something like this...

We had just walked an hour and a half down to the Internally Displaced People camps in Maai Mahiu, Kenya.  As we arrived we were greeted by the normal mass of kids with no shoes, tattered clothes, and empty stomachs.  We walked through the camp and came upon a gathering of people in one of the open fields.   A common occurrence was underway and we came just at the end of it.  A group of foreigners had come on a bus to distribute food to hungry people in the area.  I sat down with some of the kids maybe 25 yards away from the action.

I watched as the Kenyans encircled the food consisting of maize, cooking oil, and beans.  The foreigners whipped out their cameras and took photos as they started to load the bus to return to their accommodations for the night.  Women danced and sang for the cameras to show their appreciation.  I saw the foreigner's faces light up and smile as they waved and drove away.  They looked like they had just saved the world...or at least everyone they just captured in the photos they would show people at home.  But the truth was...they hadn't.

Within minutes of their departure I watched the group that had encircled the food erupt.  People were upset.  People were yelling at one another.  They were trying to figure out how to distribute the food...how it could be done fairly.... realizing there wasn't that much to go around and it wouldn't sustain them for long.  Scarcity.  They were well aware this was only a temporary fix.

But the foreigners never got to see these events unfold.  They drove off on top of the world and got to tell stories about how they had done a great dead and made a positive change.  But the picture I saw was another short-term solution keeping the poor in a cycle of dependency.  They hadn't been given any tools to provide for themselves for tomorrow.  They had been taught that once again, some random group of people will see them in their plight and give them food or money so they don't have to work....they just have to wait.

See how the two pictures are completely different? 

I was saddened...I was discouraged...but most of all I was angry.  I was angry with them for coming.  I was angry they had an incomplete picture of what happened and what it means to help.  I was angry because....because....I saw myself in them.  I have played the same role my whole life.  Whether it's through giving money and thinking it will solve the problem, or going on short-term mission trips and not caring about the long term impacts of my actions, or just not understanding a culture and adding to the problem.   

This is what our team is dealing with now....years of a broken aid programs that were designed to make the missionaries feel better about themselves with little regard for the ones they were supposed to be serving.

I'll tell you more about how this plays out next week....  

Have you ever found yourself in a place and realized you don't remember how you got there?  It's happened to me before when I'm driving.  I get to wherever I was going and think...I don't remember making any turns, stopping at lights, or passing any landmarks.  I don't remember blacking out, but I wonder if it could have happened.  Most of the time it occurs because I'm deep in thought about something.  And while this isn't that big of a deal (besides the risk I pose to other drivers), it reminds me of how a similar situation can happen in our lives if we're not careful. We wake up one morning and start to question how we got to where we are. We take a look at our lives and realize we've been going along with things and have gotten to a place we don't even want to be. 

It's easy to get caught in the motions of life and forget what we are doing, why we are doing it, and if we even believe in it.  But that doesn't mean we have to continue on the path we've found ourselves on.  Although we may not be where we want or expected, we have the power to make conscious decisions to change that direction.

The direction we would like to go though may not seem like a wise decision.  I have ideas and thoughts all the time that I dismiss because they are too crazy, seem too difficult, or it's not the conventional way of doing it.  I'm learning that that's Ok...in fact; it's probably a good thing.

I'm constantly learning that there is always a bigger story at work.  There are things in motion that can't be seen.  There is a vision of what could be and a gap between the here and now, and the yet to come.  And that gap is waiting for people to span it. 

It is beckoning people who aren't afraid to see something more than the reality everyone faces everyday.  It is waiting for someone who will say they can see the potential...they can see it in perfection...they can see it the way God sees it.  That's what we need.  People who see a different world, a different Christianity, a different way of following Christ...not because they want to be different, but because they are different. 

Forget the manuals, the roadmaps, the planning everything to a T...and start using the creativity He gave you, start thinking in terms that don't make sense, start trusting in a God who does the impossible.  

The norm we are used to is pathetic.  It underestimates everything, trusts in no one, and waits to be disappointed.  That's a sad existence.  I don't want to live there...and while it sounds stupid to live in that place, the reality is...it's comfortable.  There aren't a lot of risks to take and you don't have to think for yourself very often.  You can navigate through life and not get your hands dirty or worry about too much.  So if that's your goal...to follow the masses and arrive at death safely...go for it.  You'll have a lot of company on your journey. 

But if you're not satisfied with the status quo, let's start by waking up and pursuing something different.  Let's get on the path that's going upstream, the path that may not look clear or defined at times, the path that will undoubtedly terrify us more often than not...but remember, it's a path filled with passion, life and freedom. 

Jesus knows exactly what's coming...his death.  A group of soldiers and officials come to arrest him and he calmly waits knowing what is about to happen.  When they arrive Jesus asks them who they are looking for and they respond, "Jesus of Nazareth."  When he tells them he is Jesus of Nazareth, they fall to the ground.  They fall to the ground! 

After they pick themselves up, they proceed in trying to arrest Jesus.  Peter grabs his sword and strikes one of the men, cutting off his ear.  Instead of this turning into a fight, Jesus diffuses the situation not by reasoning with the mob or by apologizing for Peter's actions, but by restoring what's been damaged and giving himself to them.  He touches the man's ear, heals it completely and then allows himself to be arrested.

When I read this story I get a little confused and wonder how much else is going on outside the words that I read.  I don't understand how the events transpired and the officials still went through with arresting Jesus.  I mean, if you fall over when He speaks to you and then heals a guys ear right in front of you, wouldn't that make you question if you really need to go through with arresting him? 

I wonder how hard their hearts had to be to see and experience the evidence they did and still not believe.   If nothing else, I would expect the man who had his ear healed to speak up and say something.  But it's as if nothing happened and they continue along with what they came to do.

Do you ever hear a story like this and think...how did they not get it?  How are they so blind and stupid as to not see what was right in front of them?  I know I think that.  But usually when I start thinking this way, God reminds me that I'm just as dumb and blind.  There are so many things in my life that God is doing right in front of me that I....for some reason...choose not to see.  He is at work all around us, and whether we choose to acknowledge it or not, it doesn't change the facts that it's true. 

Maybe God chose to let them be blind so his son could continue with his mission.  Maybe they were so wrapped up in themselves that they couldn't see anything bigger their assignment.  Maybe....maybe...maybe.  I'm not sure what the reasoning is, but I know that without God's help I am in a similar situation.  I need God's help in seeing him.  I need him to open my eyes, ears, and heart to acknowledge what he is doing and how I can get over myself and my own agenda.  I need to continually readjust myself and my vision to follow his lead. 

POWER....where does it come from?

I'm not talking about a physical strength or a control someone can force on others. I'm talking about a power that rises up to break people free from the things that oppress them. Spiritual, mental, emotional, physical chains that aren't supposed to be on people. There has to be a power that can set those people free. A power that breaks the chains of bondage and gives a way to new life.

Is this power something we can produce on our own? Is it something that requires the right steps to lead someone through, does it take a book to teach us how to use it, does it require a certain level of education to know how to apply it?

I think it has more to do with faith than education. I think has more to do with hope than information found in a self-help book. I think it has more to do with love than a step-by-step checklist. 

But that's not how we want to function. We want to have things planned out and eliminate as many risks as possible. We want to know the outcome if we follow the prescribed steps. We want the easiest road possible to get to our destination.

Because the reality is....faith, hope and love are messy things. They don't have clear boundaries and formulas for how to apply them. They leave room for interpretation. They leave room for errors and forgiveness, for pain and joy, for sacrifice and healing....and ultimately, they leave room for something bigger than ourselves.

It takes the focus off "us" and puts it on others. We need a power that doesn't fit into the box we've created for it.  We need a power that's rooted in the Gospel.   When I read the stories found in the gospels, I see this power everywhere. Every interaction Jesus had with a person was a display of His Father's power.  Healings broke out, lives were transformed, and something shifted in others.

This power is still available to us today.  For some reason we've categorized things and told ourselves they don't happen today the way they did in Jesus' time.  And we've bought into this lie and are living powerless lives.  But the world is broken, hurting and dying.  It doesn't need another kind word or humanitarian organization.  It needs people that are alive and living out the gospel.  People who are empowered by the Holy Spirit to change things in this world.  People who live out their faith, know the hope that Christ offers, and love unconditionally. 

This is the POWER that I am talking about.  I need this power....you need this power...the world is desperate for this power.  God...please remind us of what a life filled with your power looks like. 

In a perfect world, our team would own a car by now and be able to drive from where we live to the IDP camps we are working in.  However, as I'm sure you're well aware, we don't live in a perfect world.  So we have to make due with what we have while we wait.  And what we have instead of a vehicle is our legs.  Yep, our alternative is to hike the hour and a half or two-hour journey, each way, to the camp. 

AWe do live on the side of the mountain, so the trek can be a little tiring, but it's good to be able to walk and not be totally reliant on a vehicle to get us there.  Today we walked to the camps to check on some projects that people started there and to spend time and build relationships with people.

When we arrived we saw a large group of white people (which is unusual) congregated in one area.  We went to investigate and found a group of volunteers that were there for a week to help build homes with Habitat for Humanity.  When I say "homes" though, you have to understand that these are very simple, stone and cement buildings with no electricity or running water, but they do provide a solid structure for families to live in and be out of the weather.  We talked to them for a while before moving on and finding a large group of Kenyans congregated around a pallet of ugali (a cornmeal mixture that is similar to thick grits).  A group of nuns had dropped it off and now everyone was trying to figure out how to distribute it fairly amongst everyone present. 

All of these things were happening in the main IDP camp in Maai Mahiu.  That is where most of the help goes since there are a large number of families there.  However, camp Tumaini, the camp we are working with, doesn't typically receive this type of help.  They are a smaller camp and are recessed farther back from the road so they are less visible....but they're in worse shape. 

We made our way to camp Tumaini, and as is typical, we were greeted by numerous kids that wanted to practice their English, hold our hands, and walk with us wherever we were going.  We made our rounds saying hello to people and catching up.  It had rained the night before, so many people were working on their small farming plots.  Patch and I jumped right in, grabbed a hoe, and helped to plow Ann's garden where she is trying to grow sweet potatoes.  She is a single mom, has six kids, health problems and is one of the sweetest ladies I have ever met.  After we helped her for a while she insisted that we eat lunch with her.  This is always a hard thing to do for me because I know she struggles to get food for herself and her kids, but culturally it is rude to refuse an offer like that.  So we sat in her tarp home and ate mashed potatoes with small amounts of corn and beans mixed in.  Her children ate with us and we laughed and smiled together as we ate.  Before we left we prayed with her. 

 Helping out in Ann's garden.

It's hard to live here and see the poverty, needs, and all the help people are in need of, but there is a hope underlining it all.  Our hearts were heavy today, but we left that camp encouraged.  Ann's life is anything but easy.  However, she still presses on.  She still trusts that God is her provider and healer.  She still looks to Him for her daily strength.  Her life....her story...encourages me to do the same.