Ever read this verse and thought....really?  Better for me?  Good thought, but I'd rather have Jesus. 

What about the disciples?  I bet they had a hard time swallowing that one.  First, they probably had no idea what He was talking about...as usual.  Second, they had done life with Him.  They knew what it was like to walk beside Jesus.  Why trade that for the unknown?

So why did Jesus say it was better for Him to leave?  Was He missing something?  Was He confused?  Did He not realize what it would be like once He was gone?

I don't think so...He seemed like a pretty intelligent guy.  So perhaps...just maybe, we're the ones who are missing something...the ones who are confused.

I was thinking about Jesus' words this morning and it hit me that I lived so long with His Spirit, I might have actually forgotten what it's like without Him.  Then I reminded myself about what it was like without Him and when I first started growing in Him...without the Spirit, the things of the Bible don't make sense and even seem illogical.  Without the Spirit I don't have a clue about what God is doing, where He is moving, and how I play a part in it.  Without the Spirit I'm on my own and trying to make sense of life without the creator.

When Jesus sent the Spirit, it wasn't some mystical, hocus pocus thing that happened, but a person that came to be with us...the part of the trinity that has always been designated to be with us...to walk this journey out with us.  God is in heaven, Jesus by His side, and the Spirit is with us...speaking on their behalf...interceding for us...speaking to us. 

So let's stop treating the Spirit like He's a second-rate god...like He doesn't have anything to offer and that we'll just have to put up with Him for now.  Let's change our mindset and realize He is everything we need for the here and now.  Let's give Him back His voice in our life and allow Him to lead us.  Speak Spirit speak...because without you we're lost.

I've heard it before...and I actually believe it.  Unless something dies, it can't produce life.  Kind of an oxymoron I guess, but when you think about it, it makes sense.  Unless a grain of wheat is buried and dies, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it dies, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over.  The same was true for Jesus' life.  Because of His death...we can now find life. 

And I've lived my life the past couple years trying to assimilate this truth more and more.  Coming to grips with the fact that there are parts of my life, my desires and my will that have to die to produce life.  Looking back that has been my focus...dying to those things.  What I'm realizing now, is that dying really isn't enough. 

Dying in and of itself isn't enough to produce life.  I know plenty of people and things that have died and life wasn't the result.  Why?

As I read the story of Jesus and his death, I realize that it wasn't only his death, but the manner in which he died that produced life.  He had every right to be bitter, angry and frustrated with everything and everyone around Him.  But that's not how He chose to die.  Jesus died in love...humbly going to the cross, giving Himself for those who don't deserve Him, and even forgiving those who crucified Him!

And that's what was produced in his dying...LOVE.  The way in which you die produces more of the same.  It can be your life...your will...the way you sacrifice for another.  If you die in anger...more anger is born.  If you die in love...more love is born. 

My attitude and posture in my death are as important as the act of dying.  Time to start thinking more about my attitude, my motives and my heart and what they're producing in the deaths I encounter. 

Welcome to the mission field.

I often look at "missionaries" that are in foreign countries and think about the trials, persecution, and hardship they endure.  I look at my life in Kenya and think about how daily I'm faced with poverty, oppression, and overwhelming needs.  I want to run some days and go back to the States.  I want to trade the suffering for a cush life back where I'm from. 

But the reality is, I'm a foreigner wherever I go and my calling remains the same. The mission field in the States looks different than other places but the attacks faced there are just as dangerous.  Comfort, materialism, individualism.  These are dangerous insulators that keep us from our mission.

We're not called to bunker underground and wait for Jesus.  We're called to be in the world...affecting culture, leading politics, steering businesses, discipling others, loving prostitutes, walking beside criminals, healing the sick.  And this will create tension because we're integrated but set apart.

We need to be in this tension.  Engaged in the world but living differently than it.  It's hard to live there....we all know this, but that doesn't mean we run.   

The church wasn't designed for your comfort.  It was never intended to be a place where you feel safe, can be with people like yourself and insulate you from the realities of the world around you.  It was designed to be an outpost where change comes from, where the Kingdom of God propagates from.  So let's take our calling seriously and realize we've all been sent.

Welcome to the mission field!

Last week our team attended a funeral here in Kenya.  Zipporah, one of the grandmothers in the camp we work with, had passed away.  She was 72 years old and had complications with her health since she moved to the IDP camp years ago.  We took her to the hospital many times and prayed over her often, but the Lord decided it was her time to go home.  It was a celebration marked with sorrow and pain but also joy and celebration. 

As I stood next to her grave just minutes after people had finished piling the dirt on her casket, I noticed another grave a few feet away.  It was her mother's grave.  She had been buried just a few years before, but her wooden marker was weathered beyond recognition.  It was a stark contrast to the freshly painted and written marker for Zipporah.  As I compared the two I thought about how quickly Zipporah's post will fade and the message be unrecognizable. 

It reminded me of James chapter 4 where it says our lives are a mist...we are here for a little while and then we vanish.  Kind of depressing...but helps put things into perspective.  We aren't invincible; we aren't on earth forever; life is a short gift. 

When I die, I'm sure I will be mourned and thought about for a while.  However, the world will go on...time will progress...and people will move on with their lives.  I will be forgotten about soon enough and that's how the world works.

So I guess we all have a couple options... 

One, we can work really hard to try and not be another forgotten person.  We can try to make such a large impact that people remember us for a long time.  We can proclaim our worth and make people take notice so when we're gone there is hopefully a gap that can't be filled. 

Or two, we can give our lives to the Lord and follow Him on a journey that is more about Him than us.  We can make an impact on people's lives so that when we're gone they continue on because they depend on the Lord and not us.  We can proclaim his worth so that when we're gone there is no gap to be filled because He sustains everything.

This is the legacy of Zipporah.  I will undoubtedly forget about her in years to come.  That may seem crass, but I honestly don't think Zipporah would care.  She was more concerned about Christ than people's opinions or perceptions of her.  And so, what will stay with me and impact me is the joy that I saw in her life.  The gift she left behind of me understanding the Father more because I saw Him in her.  That....I won't forget.  That...I can't forget.

           Life is short.  How will you spend it?  

It's been a long journey since Christmas, but we're back in Kenya and have been here for a couple weeks now.  Our team spent longer than expected in GA getting everything arranged to come back and getting to a healthy spot.  We left the US with new life, hope and joy for what God was doing!

But within the first couple minutes after setting foot on Kenyan soil, everything came under attack. 

We all listened in shock as one of our best friends here told us that his marriage had fallen apart.  He told us how he was trying to pick up the pieces and trust that God would restore his family in the midst of what others would deem as unsavable.

A couple days later we were overwhelmed in the IDP camps with people asking us to fix their situation, to give them money, take them to the hospital, and being frustrated with us because we weren't doing enough. 

As we met together the other morning, something was different.  We were still hearing from the Lord, praying together, and unified as a team....but something had shifted.  We had lost our JOY.  We had become overwhelmed and frustrated with the situation in the IDP camps. 

We knew we couldn't do everything that was being asked of us.  We knew the needs were so great that it was beyond our power to fix it.  We knew people were angry at us for not doing what they expected.  We want to help EVERYONE with EVERYTHING they need, but we can't.  We have to trust that we do what we can and God takes care of the rest....and that mindset brings peace, comfort, and JOY.

Everyday here is a fight to keep the JOY the Lord has given us.  There are so many things that try to steal it, but it's our choice if we let them.  God has given us the ability to choose JOY in every circumstance.  It's not easy, but it is a choice.  And here is how we've been choosing JOY....we thank God for everything.  Literally everything!  If something good happens...praise God because He blesses us.  If something hard happens...praise God because He teaches us through adversity.  There is always something to be grateful for...just look for it.  Stop focusing on all the junk that's there and thank God for the good stuff.

Keep this mindset....and JOY just seems to come out. 

Death....it's not a topic you probably see a lot of blogs written about.  It's probably not even a topic you think about much until you're faced with it.  Whether it's a family member, a friend, or even yourself....we tend to put of thinking about death until we have to.

But death should be something we think about well before we're forced to.  Certain topics make us take a step back, evaluate, and then move forward...possibly in a new direction.  I think death is one of those realities that can alter our perception and change our priorities.

One of my friends just had a family member pass away and it's a hard thing to deal with...especially when you're thousands of miles apart from where everything is taking place and where you can connect with loved ones.  A couple days ago we all sat together and listened as my friend told stories from the memories he shared with this family member.  Some of the stories were funny and some were sobering, but all of them pointed to the character in the person that he had loved. 

As we sat and were faced with the reality of a life ending, it made us look at our own families and our own lives.  I thought about the legacy I would leave.  About how people would remember me.  About the people that are close to me and not knowing when any of our lives will end. 

John 12:24...

"Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds."

The kingdom of God usually works backwards to the way everything else does.  When I hear about someone dying, I think of an end.  But in the kingdom...it's really the beginning.  When I hear of someone dying, I think of how life is over.  But in the kingdom...it's the start of something new.

In the midst of death there is hope and there is life....yes, life.  When Jesus went to the cross, He knew that His death would bring us life.  He knew that in order to bring freedom, He had to willing lay down His life. 

We can sit and think about what our legacy will be.  We can think about what people will say about us after we're gone.  We can try to live a better life and make it more meaningful.  But I'm reminded of the kernel of wheat and the lesson I think we need to learn from it.  It brought life and multiplied its impact by dying. 

So the question is...do you wait till your physical death to hope for an impact, or do you die to yourself today, tomorrow and the next day to bring life into places that need it?  The challenge isn't to live so your death will be remembered, but to live so your physical death won't be the first death you've experienced. 

I wanted to give a quick update with how things are going here in Kenya and where we are heading.  We've been here about three months and things started off slow, but now that we've layed a foundation, we are starting to see things take off.

First, and arguably most important, the water situation.  Camp Jekazi, another IDP camp about 2 kilometers from Camp Tumaini, now has a borehole that's almost 1000 feet deep with water around 140 degrees F. It's taken a long time but the now have a pump that can get this water to the surface.  Pipe has been installed from Jekazi to Tumaini and now we are trying to get some last minute things fixed and worked out so that Tumaini can get water in the take they have at their camp!

Second, we have started numerous conversations with members in the camps about micro-finance loans.  We are having conversations with individuals about their vision, what's realistic, and how we can support them in getting back up on their feet.  This is a hard process and we are trying to figure it out as we go.  We've already approved one and started a women going with a small duka (shop) where she sells fruits, vegetables, soap, tea and other items.  It's really taking off and she is making enough to expand the business and make a decent wage.

Third, we are still in conversation with Habitat for Humanity about getting homes built for camp members.  Things are looking good and we are hopeful that at the beginning of next year the process could be underway. There is a lot of paperwork and information that we are trying to gather to make this happen, so we have been meeting with government officials and other people to make this process move forward.

Fourth, the charcoal business is still getting underway.  We have built a small press and are experimenting with different ingredients for the best briquette.  We are having trouble getting cohesion, and are realizing we are going to need to build something to shred the materials.  If anyone has a way to build a man-powered shredder, chipper, mulcher....let me know...seriously!

Fifth, shortly after getting here we found out there was already a women's sewing school that was for IDP women.  Instead of trying to start another one, we have been helping out with the one that's already in place.  We are trying to see what partnering with them could look like and how we can further the visions we each have.

Well....there is a lot more going on of course...with all the , but that's a quick highlight of the main things we are seeing happen.  Hope this helps you understand what we're working on and how you can be praying for us.  If you have any questions....let me know!